Serbian Orthodox funeral customs in Melbourne
A Serbian Orthodox funeral in Melbourne usually follows a set order: a vigil or viewing, the funeral service (opelo) led by a priest, a burial with prayers at the graveside, and a memorial meal called the daća. Afterwards, families hold memorial services (parastos) at set times, most importantly at 40 days, six months and one year.
Customs vary from family to family and between parishes, so the most important first step is to speak with your parish priest. This guide explains what usually happens, so you know what to expect and what to prepare.
The first steps after a death
When a Serbian Orthodox person dies, the family normally contacts two people early: their parish priest and their funeral director. The priest will confirm the date and time of the opelo and any parish requirements. The funeral director looks after everything else, from bringing your loved one into care to the paperwork, the coffin and the cemetery booking.
In Melbourne there are Serbian Orthodox parishes across the city and in regional Victoria, including Holy Trinity in Brunswick, one of the closest to the city centre. The Serbian Orthodox Metropolitanate of Australia and New Zealand publishes a list of Victorian parishes if you need to find your local church.
Many families also place a death notice, known in Serbian as a čitulja. Tell us which publications you would like and we can arrange it.
The vigil and viewing
It is a long-standing Serbian custom for someone to stay with the body through the night before the funeral. This vigil is called bdenje. Today many Melbourne families keep this tradition through a viewing or prayers the evening before, at the church or a chapel, so relatives and friends can say goodbye.
Our package includes a Jerusalem shroud, an icon placed in the hands, a lapel cross, candles and incense.
The funeral service (opelo)
The opelo is the Orthodox funeral service. It is led by the priest, usually in the church, with the coffin at the front. The service is made up of hymns, prayers and readings that pray for the soul of the departed and ask God's mercy on them.
Those present usually hold lit candles during the service. For Orthodox Christians, the candle is a sign of the light of Christ.
The burial
After the opelo, the coffin is taken to the cemetery for a short graveside service. The priest says the final prayers, and family members often throw flowers and the first handfuls of soil into the grave.
Serbian families have long held that burial is the proper way to lay a loved one to rest. If cremation is being considered, please talk to your priest before making any decisions. Church practice can be strict on this point. A priest may not be able to perform the service where the person chose cremation themselves, and any exception is a matter for the priest and the church authorities.
The daća (memorial meal)
After the burial, it is customary to invite family and friends to a memorial meal called the daća (sometimes written dacha). It is a time to share food, talk about the person who has died and support one another. Some families hold it at home, some in the church hall and some at a restaurant.
Mourning and memorials
The 40 days after a death are seen as the most important period of mourning. Many close family members wear black, and families often avoid music and celebrations during this time. How long mourning lasts and how strictly it is kept differs from family to family.
Memorial services, called parastos, are held at the family's request. The most significant are at 40 days, six months and one year after the death. Families also visit the grave and light candles, often at seven days as well.
For a parastos, families usually bring:
žito (also called koljivo), a dish of boiled wheat that is blessed during the service
a kolač, a special bread
a bottle of red wine
candles
Your priest can tell you exactly what their parish asks for. Serbian families also remember the dead on Zadušnice, the Saturdays of the souls held several times a year, when families visit cemeteries and light candles.
How Serbian customs compare with other Orthodox traditions
Serbian, Greek, Russian and other Orthodox churches share the same faith and much of the same funeral service, but the language, names and some customs differ.
Greek Orthodox families call the boiled wheat kollyva, and often begin with a Trisagion prayer service the evening before the funeral. The meal after the funeral is called the makaria.
Russian Orthodox and other jurisdictions have their own names and customs for the vigil, the meal and the memorial days, and your priest can explain what applies.
Serbian Orthodox families use the names opelo, parastos, žito and daća, and many hold Zadušnice through the year.
Within each church, practice can also vary between parishes and regions of origin. When in doubt, follow your priest's guidance and your family's own tradition.
How we help Serbian families in Melbourne
At Australian Orthodox Funerals, we have more than 18 years' experience caring for Orthodox families, including Serbian, Greek, Russian and other traditions. We work alongside your priest so the service is carried out the way your church and your family expect.
Our Orthodox funeral package is $8,400 including GST for a Monday to Friday funeral. It includes:
a Richmond flat-lid coffin, with a choice of finish
a Jerusalem shroud, an icon for the hands, a lapel cross, three candles and incense
wheat, wine and oil for the graveside service
an optional viewing or prayers the night before, with transport to and from the church or chapel
transfer into our care from anywhere within a two-hour drive of Melbourne's CBD
basic mortuary care, death certificates and paperwork
a pass by the family home before the service, on request
Funeral notices in some publications are included, and notices in other publications, such as Serbian-language ones, are arranged at cost. Coffin upgrades, embalming, weekend funerals and transfers from further away cost extra.
You may also find our guide to Orthodox funeral rituals and customs helpful.
We are here when you need us
Whether a loved one has just died or you are planning ahead, we can talk you through every step, work with your priest and take care of the arrangements so your family can focus on saying goodbye.
See what is included in our Orthodox funeral package, read about planning ahead, browse our Orthodox funeral FAQs or find support on our grief and healing page.
Frequently asked questions
What is an opelo?
The opelo is the Serbian Orthodox funeral service. It is led by a priest, usually in church, and is made up of hymns, prayers and readings for the soul of the person who has died.
What should I bring to a parastos?
Families usually bring žito (boiled wheat), a kolač (bread), red wine and candles. Check with your priest, as parishes can differ.
Can a Serbian Orthodox person be cremated?
The church traditionally expects burial, and a priest may not be able to perform the funeral service where the person chose cremation. Please speak with your priest before deciding.
When are the memorial services held?
The most important memorials are at 40 days, six months and one year after the death. Many families also visit the grave at seven days and on Zadušnice.
Can you place a notice in a Serbian-language publication?
Yes. Tell us where you would like the notice to appear. Notices beyond those included in our package are arranged at cost.
If you need help with a Serbian Orthodox funeral, call us any time on 03 9568 5959.
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